September 20, 2004

Shifting Sands

Just had a weird sensation. I was in a room with no windows, and there was a rumble as someone ran heavily down the corridor outside (or maybe it was a small quake?). After that stopped, I wasn't sure if the floor was still shaking or not, and my sense of balance was all off. How did I know whether I was moving or not? That was it. I didn't. And the uncomfortable, and at the same time eerily enjoyable feeling stayed with me for about a minute.

I don't know why these things mean anything to me. But they do. Maybe it's because I can't explain them. Because there's a chance it means everything I know is falling apart, being torn down, and in a way, I like that sensation.

I'd like to think that, anyway. I can't decide if the reason I love these moments of unstable consciousness so much is because it distracts me from the reality that I don't want to be part of, and that I don't want to deal with, or because it helps me to define my sense of self as being different from everyone else.

Posted by mthaddon at September 20, 2004 04:57 PM